A bit of a personal journey I've been on this year
Posted: April 8th, 2013, 1:28 am
Some of you who have been on the forum a long time may recall the story of where my forum handle comes from. In brief, in our 20's my brother and I played competitive chess. He was the Blakbishop and I the Wytbishop. He was much smarter than me, and as a result a much better chess player. But his incredible mind brought him a lot of challenges emotionally and in the end he couldn't deal with all the thoughts in his head and the depression that came with it and took his own life in 2003 on the eve of my 32nd birthday.
A few years later I had a tattoo of a black bishop done on my left arm so that I could always have a reminder of him with me but it was a spur of the moment thing and not well done...which is often the case with tattoos done on short notice. This year in a couple of weeks will be the 10th birthday I've had since he left me and I can finally afford to get the memorial tattoo that I wished I had gotten then. It's not finished, but I'm about 10 hours in now and it's got enough detail that you can see the theme so I wanted to show it off a bit.
The text is a portion of a poem that appeared in a book we had both read and liked. It was written in the 19th century by a Spanish Grand Master Jorge Luis Borges...
Weakling King, Slanting Bishop, Relentless
Queen, Direct Rook and Cunning Pawn
They know not that the player’s selected
Hand governs their destiny
The player also is a prisoner of another board
Of black nights and of white days
God moves the player, and he, the piece
Which god behind God begets the plot
Of dust and time and dreams and agonies?
I have learned over the last decade that the day he died is not the day I should be remembering. I have learned to remember the days that he lived and finally, after a long time I have taken my birthday back. I still can't seem to play a game of chess but I can at least celebrate my birthday again and I'm really excited to finally have a memorial for him that expresses how I really feel.
I will continue to post pics as the tattoo gets more complete. I'll get better pics next time too...I think there's about 10 hours to go so I'm looking at June or July before it's done.
A few years later I had a tattoo of a black bishop done on my left arm so that I could always have a reminder of him with me but it was a spur of the moment thing and not well done...which is often the case with tattoos done on short notice. This year in a couple of weeks will be the 10th birthday I've had since he left me and I can finally afford to get the memorial tattoo that I wished I had gotten then. It's not finished, but I'm about 10 hours in now and it's got enough detail that you can see the theme so I wanted to show it off a bit.
The text is a portion of a poem that appeared in a book we had both read and liked. It was written in the 19th century by a Spanish Grand Master Jorge Luis Borges...
Weakling King, Slanting Bishop, Relentless
Queen, Direct Rook and Cunning Pawn
They know not that the player’s selected
Hand governs their destiny
The player also is a prisoner of another board
Of black nights and of white days
God moves the player, and he, the piece
Which god behind God begets the plot
Of dust and time and dreams and agonies?
I have learned over the last decade that the day he died is not the day I should be remembering. I have learned to remember the days that he lived and finally, after a long time I have taken my birthday back. I still can't seem to play a game of chess but I can at least celebrate my birthday again and I'm really excited to finally have a memorial for him that expresses how I really feel.
I will continue to post pics as the tattoo gets more complete. I'll get better pics next time too...I think there's about 10 hours to go so I'm looking at June or July before it's done.