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Do you guys also find that people are scared to commit to a relationship? Maybe it's me but most girls I've dated are scared to commit to a relationship and usually do not know what they really want but want other person (guy) to guess what they want. If you don't guess what they want they will usually "call you later" or do other things to break away from you. Maybe it's age bracket (21-26) that women are like that?

Most of the girls I know in that age bracket are married or close to getting engaged. I'm not single though, so I don't know a ton of single girls. My guy friends on the other hand are the ones who don't want to be in long term relationships.

mitmaks wrote:Do you guys also find that people are scared to commit to a relationship? Maybe it's me but most girls I've dated are scared to commit to a relationship and usually do not know what they really want but want other person (guy) to guess what they want. If you don't guess what they want they will usually "call you later" or do other things to break away from you. Maybe it's age bracket (21-26) that women are like that?

You've mostly got it spot on. I've got a theory (and I've had girls agree) that basically they stop growing up when they hit 19-20-21 and then stay with that mentality until they hit their 30's....they're in denial that they're that old and wish they were young again. It's not a fear of commitment but more that they don't know what they want, and what they want is either unrealistic and/or they want guys to help them stay feeling young (ie: the partyers). They take offence to anything that the guy does as "responsible" if it's to their disadvantage. Makes them think that they're "not worth it"

Indeed, they just start to pull themselves away from the relationship, and you can notice it, you can even ask them if something wrong and "everything is ok", until they break up with you a few weeks later. I've had one I tried to walk with, i literally told her "i felt like I'm walking on egg shells" and that "your setting me up to fail". A few weeks later I pissed her off trying to talk to her and she broke it off.

They're also hypocrites and set double standards, and have those as reasons to break up.

(Yes I'm bitter)

I'm only 18...

I've been dating the same girl for more than 3 years now.

We're working out just fine She doesn't have commitment issues, and she's not a party girl. I'm not a party guy either. We're kinda weird, actually. We do eachothers laundry and errands, and everything is comfortable... like we're married but not. Nothing is really out of bounds, or awkward or taboo.

I like it. She does too.

I miss that...

Well, I'm 44, and I have gone through most common stages on the matter.
While I agree with most of what ND4SP said, I don't think it's completely their fault.
It's no secret that women and men grow at different rates. It's also no secret that we have different priorities.
So, while most girls at 18 spend most their time daydreaming with getting married, and a big a$$ white dress, most of us at that age only want to party, and some quick sex when we can get it. Then, when we're 30 ish and we're ready (more or less) to commit, most of them are so burned out they don't want to hear about it.

I remember, when I was in my early '20s, the word "marriage" was an obscenity for me. So I got told all the time that I was "scared of commitment".
Then, in my late '20s, early '30s, I was ready, and girls were only interested in "burning their last years of fun".
Later on, when I finally got desperate, most women that were worth anything were already married, and those who weren't were so full of sh!t, you couldn't hold a 2 day relationship to save your life.

Now, at 44, I'm just not interested. The only reason I would've been interested in a serious relationship years ago, was to have kids. I wasn't interested in the company, and sure as hell I wasn't interested in the sex (I can have better sex being single, anytime). Now, I wouldn't dream of having kids at my age, and sure enough I'm not interested in raising somebody else's kids.

And now that I'm not interested, they nag me because I'm "afraid of commitment"...

Well after Ashley and I being together for almost 3 yrs now... and we are now living in our own house... joint bank account... And everything else joint... with me being 27 and her 25.... I am as good as married... But I did find back in the day the "party" girl was a lost cause and waste of time! Though I did meet Ashley in a bar at a buddys B-day night out... and she already had a b/f..... meh seemed to work out for me!

colinsmx3 wrote:Well after Ashley and I being together for almost 3 yrs now... and we are now living in our own house... joint bank account... And everything else joint... with me being 27 and her 25.... I am as good as married... But I did find back in the day the "party" girl was a lost cause and waste of time! Though I did meet Ashley in a bar at a buddys B-day night out... and she already had a b/f..... meh seemed to work out for me!

if she already had a bf and dumped him so easily, kinda makes you wonder if she will dump you next?

Nd4SpdSe wrote:

mitmaks wrote:Do you guys also find that people are scared to commit to a relationship? Maybe it's me but most girls I've dated are scared to commit to a relationship and usually do not know what they really want but want other person (guy) to guess what they want. If you don't guess what they want they will usually "call you later" or do other things to break away from you. Maybe it's age bracket (21-26) that women are like that?

You've mostly got it spot on. I've got a theory (and I've had girls agree) that basically they stop growing up when they hit 19-20-21 and then stay with that mentality until they hit their 30's....they're in denial that they're that old and wish they were young again. It's not a fear of commitment but more that they don't know what they want, and what they want is either unrealistic and/or they want guys to help them stay feeling young (ie: the partyers). They take offence to anything that the guy does as "responsible" if it's to their disadvantage. Makes them think that they're "not worth it"

Indeed, they just start to pull themselves away from the relationship, and you can notice it, you can even ask them if something wrong and "everything is ok", until they break up with you a few weeks later. I've had one I tried to walk with, i literally told her "i felt like I'm walking on egg shells" and that "your setting me up to fail". A few weeks later I pissed her off trying to talk to her and she broke it off.

They're also hypocrites and set double standards, and have those as reasons to break up.

(Yes I'm bitter)

Exactly, last one I've dated always complained that we don't see each other enough. I've called her to see if she would want to hang out and go somewhere and she would make excuses that she had to hang out with her other friends, go to church (she's slut and it still doesn't make sense how she became all "church girl" all of sudden)
And ya, I'm not partier at all, never was actually.

Nd4SpdSe wrote: I've got a theory (and I've had girls agree) that basically they stop growing up when they hit 19-20-21 and then stay with that mentality until they hit their 30's....

Absotively.
I consider myself to be a close observer of the human condition, and amatuer psychologist. I have many friends, and relatives who are psychologists that I confer with, and have found this to be true. I know thia also, because I've spent most of my life chasing the dream of finding an inexperienced girl who really wants to be shown the world. The age group mentioned is when I thought this would happen. However, it is as Nd4SpdSe said for the most part. Sarah was 26 when I met her, and was extremely sheltered. Unfortunately predators got to her first (posing as friends). Fortunately, she is committed to me, but is not as trusting as she could be because of being used. So, there's that dynamic, too.
Good luck finding the right one. She's out there looking for you, too.

mitmaks wrote:

colinsmx3 wrote:Well after Ashley and I being together for almost 3 yrs now... and we are now living in our own house... joint bank account... And everything else joint... with me being 27 and her 25.... I am as good as married... But I did find back in the day the "party" girl was a lost cause and waste of time! Though I did meet Ashley in a bar at a buddys B-day night out... and she already had a b/f..... meh seemed to work out for me!

if she already had a bf and dumped him so easily, kinda makes you wonder if she will dump you next?

Nope... the guy was a dink... and she never had a house or lived with him at all... or shared ANY money or anything with him... I will find out in exactly 7 days if she is going to be with me for a VERY long time....

I've just come to believe that women are bipolar, or at least mine is, or at least I tell myself that to make it easier to understand her/them.

fowljesse wrote:

Nd4SpdSe wrote: I've got a theory (and I've had girls agree) that basically they stop growing up when they hit 19-20-21 and then stay with that mentality until they hit their 30's....

Absotively.
I consider myself to be a close observer of the human condition, and amatuer psychologist. I have many friends, and relatives who are psychologists that I confer with, and have found this to be true. I know thia also, because I've spent most of my life chasing the dream of finding an inexperienced girl who really wants to be shown the world. The age group mentioned is when I thought this would happen. However, it is as Nd4SpdSe said for the most part. Sarah was 26 when I met her, and was extremely sheltered. Unfortunately predators got to her first (posing as friends). Fortunately, she is committed to me, but is not as trusting as she could be because of being used. So, there's that dynamic, too.
Good luck finding the right one. She's out there looking for you, too.

Indeed. I'm glad I've got many who agree. But on the other side, and you've mentioned it with Sarah is that we don't know what they deal with with guys and their searches, or worse....

Ya, I'm with you on the same searches. It would be nice to find a younger girl who's fun and adverturous, but actually clear-headed, down to earth and responsible, but we've already touched this. Older women wouldn't be so bad, but they're either no fun and/or workaholics and/or have kids. The kid things was a rule of mine, but I did make one exemption for a great girl cause I knew her for a while before and had dated in the past, but after that, no more exemptions...too much to deal with for that. Mostly has to do with the BS of her being a mom, and not knowing what she wanted me to be, and a small part the BS from the deadbeat dad.

nightridergsr wrote:I've just come to believe that women are bipolar, or at least mine is, or at least I tell myself that to make it easier to understand her/them.

Indeed. The last girl I was with, her baby-daddy ex I guess was calling her bi-polar. After we broke up and talked, one of the things I did mention was that he was partially right. I don't remember exactly the way I said it, but it was part of the conversation where she asked me if I missed her. I said ya, but I couldn't deal with that.

^^^^ Sounds like you've had your fair share of bitches in your life man. I could date single moms but I'm NOT for reasons you've described above. It would be hard for me to raise kid who's not my own, then after all the years baby daddy will be back to take credit for it.