This story makes me feel very sad inside
I am sorry for the loss, bro.
My roommate is a failure.
In the near-two years we've lived in this apartment, I room with a guy I knew from high school. I have the master bed and bath, and he has the other bed and bath.
I like a clean room. I like a clean apartment. Two years, and this guy has never cleaned the living room once.
You don't even have to vacuum, Roomba does it for you. He's this guy who's studying computer programming, super nerd, ect. His excuse? "I don't know how to use the roomba."
Oh right, because it's too hard to go push the huge "CLEAN" button on the roomba and go do something else.
His bathroom has been cleaned ONCE in two years...
... by me.
OK, so this guy is a definite failure. He doesn't own anything. I own all the kitchenware, couches, coffee table, end table, etege, table, lamps... EVERYTHING in the kitchen and the living room.
The only thing he owns is... a glass portable desk (that I gave him)
bed frame and mattress (That I found cheap for him)
a laptop
bunch of video games
a TV (that someone else gave him)
and a desktop computer (that someone left at the apartment)
You walk into this guy's bathroom. Come, take a tour with me:
Walk in the bathroom. Stench. look left, and there's the counter. It's got a razor, shaving cream, a toothbrush setting on the counter... and his dirty whitey tighteys setting on top of the toothbrush. Fantastic. Then his towel on top of that, and pajamas.
Look right, the linen closet. Open it up. Dirty clothes strewn all over the closet, with a toilet brush setting in the middle of them. Fantastic spot. Take a few steps.
Look at the tub to the right. There's orange bacteria growing EVERYWHERE. Up the tile grout, up the tub. Disgusting. No shower curtain or lining. He only takes baths.
To the left there's a little plastic trash can... overflowing with used toilet paper rolls. trash on the floor.
next to the trash can is the toilet. The... toilet. Open the lid, yellow. Flush.
The yellow river disappears, however, the toilet bowl is caked with a yellow film from the rim of water down.
No bath rugs.
So I clean it. I get my Clorox, my Comet, my everything else and go to town on this bathroom. I stick one of those holy-crap-if-you-use-this-tablet-of-toilet-bowl-cleaner-you're-bound-to-get-five-different-types-of-cancer bleach toilet bowl tablets and stick it in the tank, because the comet and minutes of scrubbing won't remove the yellow residue in the bowl.
I hang a nice shower curtain and liner.
Place a bath rug in.
A nice mesh stainlees steel trash can.
Clean up everywhere. Pine Sol, disinfect, disinfect!
The place sparkles!! SUCCESS!
So fast forward a few months, I "Inspect" the forbidden zone.
The orange bacteria is back. This time, growing rapidly up the shower liner.
Whitey tighteys back on top of his toothbrush.
bath rug looks matted and disgustingly damp
trash overflowing once again, this time it's OVERFLOWING.
dirty clothes strewn all over the closet
a Huckabee campaign sign in the closet (someone took a Ron Paul sign off, so he got pissed and removed a random Huckabee sign. What??!)
The toilet has again, yellow caked residue to the water rim
Then orange bacteria growing above the water rim
then a line of actual MOLD growing above the bacteria
And q-tips IN the toilet bowl.
This guy fails. FAILS, fail fail fail fail fail.
I move out the end of may. No more roommates. Unless it's my beautiful girlfriend.